A False Motherhood

Would you say your mother was the best person in your life? I wish I could say that, I wish I had the arms of a mother who wanted me there.

Now, I’m not asking for sympathy, quite the opposite. I simply want your opinion, or simply your attention, for a brief moment.

When a child is born, is it then that their mother actual becomes a mother? In the eyes of the law, yes. Morally? I don’t think so. The Art of Mothering is what makes you a mother; the moments you take out of your own life to let your child stand, to allow them to touch the sky, giving them everything you have just so they can smile another day.

My mother, on the other hand, demanded the respect a mother deserves for doing nothing more than sleep and smoke. Take a second to look through my eyes, just for a flicker of a second – at age nine, I was visiting my mother for her allowed weekends. unbearable at the best of times, but I saw this particular day through. At the twilight of Sunday, as I awaited the time to return to my Grandmother’s home, my mother, quite carelessly, feeds a whisper into my ear as though it were nothing.

“Your dad isn’t your real dad, you know?” She said ever so freely like the wind passing the tees.

“What?” My nine year old self asked, not entirely sure what to make of it.

“He’s not your real dad. You can’t call him dad anymore.”

My question is this: should a mother burden such a thing on a child of nine? I was small for my age, and I remember feeling even younger than I was. At first, I thought nothing of it, but as I sat in the backseat of my father’s car, I wished to ask him a question. I called him by his first name.

Why shouldn’t I? Why would mother have reason to lie so her son?

It didn’t take my father long to correct me of my mistake.

“I am your dad. I brought you up.” He said solidly. It took me a while to understand fully what he meant, but I’m 21, and understand it completely.

A parent is the person who helped you take your first breath, no. A parent is someone who sees you through each day of your life, ensuring nothing but the best comes your way. They’d give their life for yours, should the time come.


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