As my eyes close, I hear them talk,
Speaking to themselves as though I’m not even here.
The silence is disturbing, the dark is intrusive,
But the voice in my head rings louder than pain.
I lay in silence as my head dares to rest,
Without a purpose to wake again.
The voices are damning, although they’re not real,
So perhaps this life is filled with deception.
What must I do, when no one can hear them?
Do I embrace their lies, pretend they’re not poison?
I lay in silence as the world falls still,
Without a single word to tell me what’s real.
I’m afraid of the closing of a past lifetime,
That dying light at the end of my horizons.
The dark send terror through my very existence,
Knowing I’ll soon forget the breeze of a thousand twilights.
The passing of a loved one marks the ticking of my time,
But what else can I do other than wait?
Wait for the curse of life’s greatest downfall,
Or perhaps embrace it as a gift of God?
The eclipse of my days may be set in stone,
But why can’t I resist the fear?
I feel it beckoning, disguised as the sun,
Yet there’s a shadow lurking beneath the rays.
Soon I shall pass, and not even know it,
Yet I still fear the very thing I was born to do.
The gold runs like blood from deep within,
Like a fury of thunder demanding to be heard.
It beats with my heart as my senses sharpen,
As your breath shudders while you drift off to sleep.
I feel the gold flow as I drift off to that gentle goodnight,
For I know you’ll be waiting for me through the mist of a nightmare.
I’ll stand my ground until my heart waives,
But even then it’ll beat forever.
I’ll turn the gravel into the dust of time,
I’ll only move until I can stand no longer.
I’m a patient man, but patience grows thin,
Thinner than my hair as time crawls by.
You told me to wait, but wait you did not,
So why must I refrain from letting myself go?
I’ll take a stand if it means you’ll see,
Despite it feeling like a bed of needles.
I’ll prove myself, if you’ll spare the time,
Although I know you won’t open your eyes.
What does it take, to wake you from your slumber?
Is it gold and riches, do you demand your luxury?
Perhaps my time can be invested elsewhere,
But we both know I’m cursed to find you.
I could have sworn that I loved you,
I would have died a thousand times.
I’d have fallen just to catch you,
I’d break my back just to keep you afloat.
But now I wonder if that was all true,
When I see your heart splitting for another.
Yet, I’d still pick you up when you’d fall,
Even if I’d shatter into splinters.
I’m afraid of countless things,
Like loss and hurt, above all.
I can count my dreams like counting the stars,
They will never cease to follow me.
What are you afraid of?
The dark of the night?
Or do you fear the empty spaces?
My head flows with dismay and disaster,
But what should I fear more, the questions, or the answers?