The gold runs like blood from deep within,
Like a fury of thunder demanding to be heard.
It beats with my heart as my senses sharpen,
As your breath shudders while you drift off to sleep.
I feel the gold flow as I drift off to that gentle goodnight,
For I know you’ll be waiting for me through the mist of a nightmare.
I’ll stand my ground until my heart waives,
But even then it’ll beat forever.
I’ll turn the gravel into the dust of time,
I’ll only move until I can stand no longer.
I’m a patient man, but patience grows thin,
Thinner than my hair as time crawls by.
You told me to wait, but wait you did not,
So why must I refrain from letting myself go?
I’ll take a stand if it means you’ll see,
Despite it feeling like a bed of needles.
I’ll prove myself, if you’ll spare the time,
Although I know you won’t open your eyes.
What does it take, to wake you from your slumber?
Is it gold and riches, do you demand your luxury?
Perhaps my time can be invested elsewhere,
But we both know I’m cursed to find you.
I could have sworn that I loved you,
I would have died a thousand times.
I’d have fallen just to catch you,
I’d break my back just to keep you afloat.
But now I wonder if that was all true,
When I see your heart splitting for another.
Yet, I’d still pick you up when you’d fall,
Even if I’d shatter into splinters.
I’m afraid of countless things,
Like loss and hurt, above all.
I can count my dreams like counting the stars,
They will never cease to follow me.
What are you afraid of?
The dark of the night?
Or do you fear the empty spaces?
My head flows with dismay and disaster,
But what should I fear more, the questions, or the answers?
Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing,
Then there’s someone who will correct me.
Sometimes I stare into blank spaces,
Then there’s someone who changes my focus.
Sometimes I sit and day-dream too much,
Then there’s someone who tells me I’m deluded.
Sometimes I feel like this world isn’t for me,
Then there’s someone who tells me I’m damaged.
Sometimes the world tries to define you,
Then you wonder why they control you.
Nothing feels right,
My clothes feel like skin that shouldn’t be there.
The air feels intrusive like microscopic invaders,
Nothing feels right.
I don’t want to open my eyes and see my life broken into hours,
Nor do I want to fall asleep and enter a new world with the same horrors.
Today is a new day, only with added memories,
And even those don’t feel like my own.